Here I am, all buckled in and excited for my first cross-country road trip!

And here I am, not as excited, somewhere in the state of Kansas…

And here I am, excitement completely depleted, somewhere in between the state of boredom and resentment… (video)

So, of course, once we stopped at a hotel, here’s what freedom-from-my-carseat looked like:

I made lots of memories along the way:

Finally, roughly 27 hours past my attention span, we successfully arrived in Arizona!

To celebrate, we threw ourselves a party at Chandler’s Desert Breeze Park…

…And to top it all off, we ended the night by reuniting with my Arizona familia: Aunt Nae Nae, Uncle Jon, Brooklyn, and my newly adopted cousin Chuck!

What an adventure! There were a few questionable moments along the way, but we all still love each other.

Let the hunting season begin! Even though I’m not big enough to keep dad company in his deer stand, I still get to partake in the after-party at the cabin!

Mint brownies? Yes, please! Scotcharoos? I’ll take two. Brats, cheesy potatoes, sloppy joes, homemade chicken noodle soup, cheese curds, and salads? Sign me up!

Life at the cabin is good. And delicious.

Happy Birthday, Abe, and welcome to the year of One, dear friend! Here is my advice for how to make the most of this year:

1. Eat dirt while you can still get away with it! (I hear this is frowned upon as we get older.)
2. When you do something naughty, just flash your cutest smile. (This get-out-of-jail-free card will expire, so take advantage of your cuteness.)
3. Embrace every embarrassing moment. We won’t remember them anyway.
4. Grow sharp teeth. (Our peers tend to problem-solve by biting.)
5. Run a lot. Jump a lot. Dance a lot. Laugh a lot.
6. And, remember: Nobody can do “you” better, so be whoever you want to be… the world is waiting!

Love,
Jaeger

P.S. Please consider having a party to celebrate turning 1½… those cupcakes made my tastebuds jump for joy. I mean, I would attend mostly because I truly value our friendship…the cupcakes are just a nice little bonus.

Camping over a brisk Halloween weekend means getting the entire campground to yourself! It was such fun walking around like we owned the place.

After our private stroll through the park, we headed downtown so I could participate in Hayward’s Trunk or Treat! I dressed up in my terrifying shark costume again so I could scare people into giving me all of their candy. It worked! Then we visited the community center and I won a prize at the pumpkin bowling station because I was the best little bowler that town has ever seen a participant.

Back in the camper, I got to snuggle by the fire, read books with Grandma, count all of my candy, and jump on my new trampoline bed.

It was a great way to end the 2015 camping season… peaceful, adventurous, and sweet! See you next year, Hayward, WI! (And you, too, Dental Office.)

Last year around this time, I fooled everyone into thinking I was Scooby Doo. This year, I wanted to be much scarier, so I decided to dress up as a…

SHARK!

Are you scared? My mission was to frighten everyone. But, as we hiked around the Enchanted Forest last weekend, each time I flashed my scary jaws, people just smiled and pointed out my cuteness. (Mission not accomplished.) Then, I ran into a talking banana and instead of scaring him, he scared me! (Mission completely failed.) So, maybe my shark attack didn’t go quite as planned, but all hope is not lost. I scored lots of sweets along the trick or treat trail, and I know that candy should be scared of these jaws!

Happy Halloween from the Shark Tank!

On October 16, I turned 1½ years old! Being 1½ means there’s a new boss in the house…

…Me! Some of my signature, boss-like skills include:

• Better tantrums. (And by “better,” I mean, I scream louder and I’ve perfected a much more dramatic arm flail and head twist. It’s quite impressive.)
• Discarding of valuables…. I just love to toss things in the toilet or garbage, so lock up your valuables.
• Smoothie disappearing acts: I have a personal Ninja (also known as my dad running the blender) who slices, chops and liquifies fresh fruits to quench my thirst. I drink these smoothies all gone! And fast. Really fast. Like a ninja.
• Improved manners! I’ve learned how to sign “please” and “thank you.” Need me to put away my toys? No problem; I’m usually pretty good at cleaning up the messes I make!  Also, I now know how to extend my arm, with my hand open, and demand that you “stop” if you attempt to eat my pancake, or steal my toys, or if you get in my space. I learned this at school to prevent my little friend from biting me. That trick has worked pretty well, so I’ve since incorporated this hand signal and the word “Stop” into my everyday vocabulary. (Examples: Are you looking at me from across the room? “STOP.” Did you just smile at me? “STOP.” Oh, you want to hold my hand? “STOP.”)
• Opening doors: Why wait for opportunity to knock when you can just open that door and let yourself out? of the house? into the great outdoors? without permission? ’cause I’m sneaky like that.
• Rock climbing: Go ahead, throw any obstacle at me… I’ll climb over it. Remember that baby gate my parents installed at the top of the stairs to keep me from falling into the basement? It’s now become my little rock climbing wall. I’m living on the edge, literally, until my mom frantically leaps from across the room to interrupt my fun.
• Versatile goodbyes: Need a high five? Want me to blow you a kiss? How ’bout a fist bump? I can deliver them all; just ask.
• Soccer ball handling: If my current soccer dribbling skills are any indication of what’s to come, I’ll save you some front row seats at my future World Cup appearance.
• Animal whisperer: As you’ll see from the below video, I can communicate with all animals because I speak their language.

Being 1½ is fantastic! It means staying awake longer because I only need one nap now. It means I can understand a lot more than you think. It means having more personality than I know what to do with! It means everything is about me, on my schedule, and on my terms. Because like I said before, being 1½ means there’s a new boss in the house… or out of the house, if I’ve escaped again.

Dear John Deere,

I’ve always been your biggest little fan, but today I’m writing to file a complaint. In the photo evidence below, you’ll notice that I have become a dissatisfied customer.

In the video that follows, you’ll see why:

In summary, I have found myself unable to operate your equipment. My tractor simply isn’t drivable, which is extremely frustrating. It seems like, perhaps, you miscalculated the size? I’m not sure how this passed Quality Control, but I urge you to conduct a thorough investigation. I have been a faithful, non-paying customer for almost my entire life and I expect more from your company.

Desperately seeking a full refund,
Jaeger Amari

After 11 excruciating days without my dad, he finally came home! Just one last car ride separated us: (video)

… before we were reunited: (video)

To make up for lost time, we hugged, read every book in my library, and then hugged some more. After we got all of that out of the way, it was time for a fashion show so I could sport my new “Moosey Eater” bib that Dad brought me from Canada.

Finally, we ended the night by playing tickle wars: (video)

My dad went to Canada in search of a big moose, and came home to find a little guy (that’s me) who “moosed” him very much. Reunited…. it feels so good.

Warning: Don’t try this at home. The following stunt should only be attempted by the most skilled jumpers, who are brave enough to live on the edge and take that leap of faith. As you watch, notice the careful calculation and precise execution:

Once your standing ovation concludes, feel free to take a seat.

And that’s our show for today, folks!

Dear Dad,

This is what life is like without you:

Please come home soon.

Anxiously awaiting your arrival,
Jaeger