I’ve officially launched my soccer career. And let me tell you, I’ve got moves you’ve never seen!

Like at my first game, I leaned my upper body strangely far ahead of my feet (even though I’ve never run with that posture before) and then I clumsily fell forward every time I touched the ball. My fan club seemed confused, yet entertained, so I just kept running myself to the ground.

For game 2, I tried a different strategy: Staying upright. (Which worked, because I scored a goal!)

Lesson for the next game: Remembering that throw-ins on the soccer field are not like jump shots on the basketball court.

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