How to sneak into your parents’ bed

  1. Eat an abundance of wild blackberries during your pre-bedtime hike.
  2. Wake up at 3:00 a.m. and vomit said blackberries.
  3. After getting cleaned up, with new pajamas and bedsheets, puke all over your bed once again 30 minutes later.
  4. Display lots of tears and snuggles until mom and dad are convinced that the only cure is a family slumber party.
  5. Enjoy your visit while it lasts because soon you’ll learn this belly ache wasn’t just a case of overindulgence. In fact, you’ll spend the next seven days perfecting the art of throwing up – complete with diarrhea from the other end of your body – all in the comfort of your own bed…. quarantined.

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