Top 10 reasons why I might have to start paying rent:
10. I don’t put my toys away.
9. Mom says the fireplace isn’t as enjoyable/relaxing since I’ve been around.
8. I consistently exceed my quota for dirty laundry.
7. Mom sometimes misses the glass that is hidden beneath all my fingerprints.
6. I bring home lots of germs from daycare…
6b. and I don’t cover my mouth when I cough or sneeze…
6c. so my parents get to fully participate in all of my illnesses.
5. I don’t talk about my feelings and I’m also not so good at letting go of things (literally and figuratively).
4. What part of “no” don’t I understand? All of it.
3. I prefer to crumple mom’s office papers instead of playing with my cool train.
2. I practice defiance by converting my changing table into a gymnastics mat.
1. Mom’s shoe shopping has been interrupted by Jaeger-always-needs-a-cute-outfit shopping.
But don’t worry…since we’re making lists, I’ve got many contributions, talents and skills that can be used for negotiations:
1. I sit patiently when mom cuts my fingernails.
2. Sometimes I help unload the dishwasher!
3. No matter how bad the day goes, I never forget how to clap it out and do a happy dance.
4. I can eat my socks.
5. I’m really cute.
7. That’s all I got.
8. Did I mention that I’m cute?
10. I better start working on this list!