Big news: Dad tracked down a John Deere zero turn mower all the way in South Dakota, just so he could put me to work. Once the machine landed in Melrose, I officially became the lovely assistant to the regional lawnkeeper (aka Grandpa). It’s basically a grass-eating go-kart, so not only did I get to whip out those zero turns, I also had zero complaints!
Grandpa gave me an A+ on my first mow and I got paid… not just in cash, but also in a chocolate malt and a giant plate of nachos. BEST. PAYCHECK. EVER. I even earned the ultimate badge of honor: a farmer tan. Now, my face and arms are ready for summer, but my shoulders and thighs are still living in January. They should update the job description to include the bonus perk: FREE BUILT-IN T-SHIRT. I guess I have something to show for all of my hard work!?
Well, well, well… look who made good on his promise. If you don’t remember, here were my exact words:
[June 19, 2024] “Unfortunately, the MVP award stayed out of my hands this year, but after winning it in 2022 and 2023, I figured it was time to let someone else shine. But no more Mr. Nice Guy after this because I’ll be coming in hot next year to steal back my spotlight. And that’s not a threat; it’s a promise.”
And guess what? I delivered.
I showed up to the Jordan Kappen 2025 Basketball Camp ready to WORK. It was my 4th annual appearance and I didn’t just win the 1v1 tournament in my age group—I also took home the biggest prize of all: the KAPPENCAMP GOAT award.
Yep. Greatest Of All Time. That’s me now. No big deal. Well, it’s kind of a big deal, so I’m glad the paparazzi (aka Grandma) was courtside to catch me in action.
I earned this distinguished title by showing up, working hard, listening, and—let’s be honest—scoring on the coaches more than once. The prize? A diamond GOAT necklace, a sweet Local Hoops basketball, and a Local Hoops hat.
But don’t worry… this GOAT didn’t graze alone. Besides playing with my Mel-Min buds (Parker, Ryder, and Cullen), my favorite sidekick (Genesee) was back for her 3rd year of camp! She put in serious effort, held her own on the court, and has been leveling up every summer. If the trend continues, she’s gonna be a top prize-winner next year. I’m calling it now.
So yeah, I’m a man of my word… Spotlight reclaimed.
And just as this year’s camp t-shirt says: “The future’s so bright, we gotta put shades on.”
I’ve waited my whole life to go to a Milwaukee Bucks game. I dreamed of watching Giannis dunk from the free throw line or flex after a block, and you decide to bench him!? C’mon! Antetokounmpo is too legit to sit.
For weeks, my sister begged my parents to purchase tickets, just so she could surprise her favorite brother in the world (me) with the best birthday gift ever (which may or may not have brought literal tears to my eyes). But I guess the surprise was on us, huh? Cue tears again. (Just kidding… those tears were figurative.)
But seriously, you’re lucky that Pat Connaughton decided to go full superhero and drop a career-high 43 points. And I did appreciate that we got a little more adventure than we bargained for, when the game went into overtime. Plus, I have to admit, it was pretty adorable watching Giannis cheer from the bench with his two little kids. And sitting just 20 rows away from greatness? Breathing the same air as the Greek Freak himself? Whoa! How exciting. I mean, disappointing, because this is a complaint letter.
In the end, we were forced to witness the Bucks win, I had to endure muscle soreness from dancing so hard, and then, instead of being able to make a calm exit, I found myself skipping out the doors with a huge smile and some new Bucks merch to show for it all!
See? Regrettable. Hence, I would like a full refund.
Okay, actually, as I proof-read this letter out loud, it appears that I actually did have a blast, despite your poor decision-making. So… fine. Complaint withdrawn.
But I have a clipboard and I know how to use it. So next time I step foot in the Fiserv Forum, I respectfully request play time for my main man Giannis. Otherwise, there will be no need to fear the deer because the deer will need to fear this superfan in 3-layers of Giannis gear.
With basketball love and rage, Your almost 11-year-old NBA rising star
I miss you already. It’s only been a few days, but my hair still smells like sunscreen and my heart still feels like ocean waves. You were so warm and welcoming… you had me at Aloha. My parents warned that we might fall hard for you; they were not wrong. (And I’m not just talking about that forceful tidal wave that swept me off my feet and knocked Genesee on her face.) Still, we weren’t sure exactly what to expect because mom and dad said you’ve been burned since they first met you. I was sorry to hear that you felt devastated, and so I hope the joy I brought to your island helped you heal. But let’s go back to the beginning of our love story…
Before we arrived in your wonderland, Genesee and I convinced our parents to help us escape from school early so we could ride rollercoasters study calculus and visit Legoland explore careers in mechanical engineering, architecture, and 3-D design. Thank you, Mall of America, for your commitment to academic excellence! After that very enriching experience, we boarded our 9-hour flight, where Genesee and I scored our own row of seats and passed the time quickly without a single sibling battle. Miracles do happen.
Eventually, we arrived in Honolulu, where we had to endure a four-hour layover before finally getting to see you. It was just enough time to get acclimated to Hawaii’s 75 degree weather and grab some shredded pork nachos with a side of food poisoning. It wasn’t exactly the tropical experience I had dreamed of; we came to party, not potty. But this plot twist helped me and mom get well acquainted with your toilets, which were quite lovely.
When mom and I finally rallied, you showed our family your playful (and strict) side. Our Airbnb condo in Wailea was awesome, but your pool had way too many rules. No toys, no throwing a football, no Marco Polo. So we invented a game called “Genesee Jaeger.” It sounds just like Marco Polo and feels just like Marco Polo, but if you think you saw us playing Marco Polo, no you didn’t.
Maui – we loved everything about you, except for your prices. My parents spent $514 at your grocery store and mom said it hurt her soul. Luckily your beaches softened the sticker shock. In fact, they were all so gorgeous, we tried to visit a different beach each night to admire the sunset. We also enjoyed driving the Road to Hana, savoring shaved ice treats, meeting your wild chickens, hiking through your majestic bamboo forests, splashing in your waterfalls, and playing tag with your tidal waves.
Maui — you are so hot! Not only do I have the sunburn to prove it, but we even witnessed the haze from the volcano eruption at Kilauea’s summit, all the way over on the Big Island! You really know how to make my heart melt, and you also unlocked new levels of exhiliration… especially when you brought us face-to-face with your incredible wildlife. I was completely mesmerized watching your humpback whales perform their happy dances—leaping, twirling, and slapping their giant fins and tails against the turquoise waters. And even though our parents tried to drug us with Dramamine, my eyes were wide open and I couldn’t keep them off of you… your nature is so beautiful. It’s no wonder why whales blush when they see the ocean’s bottom!
After an epic whale-watching cruise, we set off on Alii Nui’s Turtles & Tacos snorkeling adventure. As you probably discovered by now, my sister left a little souvenir in your ocean: one of her incisor teeth! But just when we thought things couldn’t get more interesting, you surprised us with a 9-foot tiger shark encounter that cut the snorkeling tour short. Luckily, we lived to tell the tale and were brave enough for a do-over, where we submerged our faces in the waters of the Molokini islet and built a friendship with your gentle turtles instead. It was pure magic.
Oh Maui… You sure know how to make a dude’s heart race! Ziplining through your treetops had my adrenaline pumping—it was fast, fun, and just a little terrifying… kind of like falling in love with you. And as if that wasn’t enough excitement, you decided to shake things up, literally! One minute, we were eating dinner on the deck, and the next, I was experiencing my first earthquake. I was shook, but we lived to tell the tale—again. Sheesh! They say love can hurt, but why does it have to be so scary!?
Of course, as the story goes, all good things must come to an end. But Maui, I didn’t want to leave you; we just ran out of time… and money. Plus, I had to finish the fifth grade and bring back hugs to our dog who was missing us. So, on our last morning with you, I decided to stuff my sad feelings down with pancakes and fresh fruit at Kihei Caffe before taking the red-eye back to the cold Wisconsin winter.
I will never forget your final wave as we said goodbye; I hope you saw the shaka I offered, with love, in return.
Mahalo, Your biggest crush (Jaeger)
P.S. I deeply regret that the sun had to set on our incredible love story. It was one for the ages! But don’t close the book just yet… I vow to write the sequel, when I return one day to Maui you.
This year, we did something totally unexpected during Christmas break: we went on our first-ever ski trip! Mom and Dad planned it on a whim, and before I knew it, we were on our way to Lutsen Mountains in Minnesota, (a 5-hour drive north) for four nights of snowy fun. It was so last-minute that all the pet-friendly condos were already booked, so Artemis got to experience her own adventure: The inaugural slumber party at D & C’s doggy daycare. (Thanks, Grandpa & Grandma!)
Before leaving home, Dad pulled out his old ski equipment, from when he was an avid skier, that had been buried under 25 years of dust. Emphasis on “old” because as soon as he tried everything on, the foam of the googles evaporated into fairy dust, the plastic of the boots cracked, and everything fell apart. So, upon arrival, Dad begrudgingly proclaimed, “we’ll take four rentals, please!” And as my parents looked around and noticed everyone wearing helmets, which was not the trend in the late 1900s, our bobble heads exited the rental facility with protected brains as well.
I’m so glad we decided to be spontaneous because this was the most epic trip ever! The weather was perfect and the Lake Superior backdrop made for breathtaking scenery. Genesee and I received beginner ski lessons the first morning, taught by George and Tim, and let me tell you, it was game over after that. We were hooked!
The chair lift was one of my favorite parts. It’s this awesome combination of peaceful and exciting, like floating above the world while you get ready to zoom down the slopes again. It was also neat to see how determined and fearless Genesee was to conquer any of the runs. (And how, upon completion, she’d immediately report her success to our ski instructors.) Another highlight was the super cool gondola ride… almost like being in a snow globe as it glided over the trees.
Speaking of gliding, Mom stuck to the green runs. She kept looking for the turtle hill, but it was nowhere to be found, so she became good friends with the Big Bunny hill…. mostly because her pulled hamstring and wobbly knees weren’t exactly up for the challenge of anything more. But also because her “worst-case-scenario brain” is always a spoiler of risky fun. Luckily, Dad isn’t as boring and safety-first as our mother is. So, by day 3, we ditched mom in search of steeper slopes and faster speeds.
Each day, after putting in about 5 hours of skiing, we’d head back to the Caribou Highlands Lodge to swim and soak in the hot tub. It was the best way to unwind after a full day of shredding (or cautiously zigzagging, in Mom’s case). In the evenings, we played card games, napped, ate spaghetti and chicken soft tacos (prepared by Chef Dad), and just enjoyed being together. On our last evening, Dad built a fire, mom poured sparkling grape juice into our makeshift wine glasses, and then we toasted to the new year as the ball dropped in New York City.
It was the most fun way to end the year and I’ve already decided that this should be an annual tradition. In fact, by the time the trip was over, Genesee and I declared skiing as our new favorite sport (outside of basketball, of course). It’s the next best thing to having wings, they say. So, next time you are near the mountains, look for us and watch us fly!
The first couple days of Christmas break were rough. Remember that puking kid at the holiday concert? Yep, that stomach bug made its rounds through school and picked me as its next victim at 4:00 a.m. on December 22nd. I had zero appetite, the energy of a sloth, no sparkle in my eye, and a mom who followed me around with a bucket like she was auditioning for the Olympics of Germ Containment. It was a huge bummer. We even had to cancel plans with friends, and I was seriously worried I wouldn’t get cleared for Christmas Eve at Grandma & Grandpa’s house.
Luckily, after a day and a half of rest, temperature checks, and motherly pampering, I was back in action and ready for all things merry and bright. It was the ultimate Christmas comeback!
It’s a good thing I made a full recovery because this Christmas was packed with all the best things: legendary meatballs, cheese-curd-infused macaroni and cheese, Red Lobster biscuits, fizzy Grinch punch, Grandma’s home-baked cookies, and the sweet magic of cherry berries on a cloud. Artemis added to the joy by showing off her pro-level gift-unwrapping skills. And to top it all off, Genesee and I were fortunate to receive amazing gifts like a shuffleboard table, a foosball table, a jewelry cabinet mirror, and Starbucks gift cards. But truth be told, my favorite gift was something that can’t be wrapped—being healthy and able to enjoy it all after a rocky start to the week.
This fall was all about movement— We picked apples, scored goals, spun our bike wheels, started basketball season, and soaked up the cooler weather. By December, we welcomed the holiday lights, cookie making, and tree decorating. It was the season for moving and grooving, just like the swirling leaves.
“Anyone who thinks fallen leaves are dead has never watched them dancing on a windy day.” -Shira Tamir
December 10th, 2024 shall go down in history as one of those moments where I shined, literally. At our school’s holiday concert (Surfin’ Santa: A One Act Musical Play), I had big speaking parts, and let me tell you, the spotlight was definitely on me! I was nervous at first, and some of that shine came from my sweaty forehead, but once I got into the groove, it felt awesome to be up there, representing my 5th grade class as “Willy.”
Not everything went as planned, though—halfway through, a kid in the front row lost his cookies all over the risers. (Yuck!) It was not a cute look. Or smell, for that matter. Thankfully, the rest of us managed to hang on to our cookies and power through. I nailed my lines, and despite the unexpected drama, the show went on!
Artemis’ big moment finally came—meeting the one and only Santa Claus!
She approached him cautiously at first, sniffing his boots like a seasoned detective. But before long, she was snuggled up in his lap, doling out puppy love. When Santa asked if she was on the naughty or nice list, we replied, “Is there an ‘I tried’ list?”
Then, with perfect timing, Artemis leaned in and planted a wet kiss on Santa’s cheek, trying to charm her way to becoming his new favorite helper. Whether her strategy worked, we’ll have to wait until Christmas morning to find out. Our fingers (and paws) are crossed!
He moves like Jaeger 