Life is a Blur

Mom appreciates a good winter… while sipping melty hot chocolate, next to an indoor fireplace.

So, when she agrees to go sledding, you swiftly grab the toboggan in a race against the competition: 1) Mom’s shivers that attempt to lure her back inside our warm, cozy house, and 2) Mom’s safety-first mentality that paints a scary picture of every worst case scenario.

We won the race, and mom seemed to enjoy the ride, probably because, despite speeding down a hill, life is less of a blur when we’re holding each other tight.

Halfway to Four

On January 26th, Genesee turned 31/2. We celebrated this joyous occasion by completely forgetting about it and doing nothing. But even though my growing sister had no half birthday cake to show for it, we figured this milestone was still worthy of a blog post.

At three and a half, Genesee has bloomed into the mature fun sister I’ve been waiting for…. she farts every time she goes potty and she loves to let her butt drop into the toilet bowl for a quick bath.

When she’s not talking to you with her eyes, she insists on proclaiming, “I TOLD YOU SO,” even though it makes absolutely no sense, like when I’m simply minding my own business, enjoying my cheerios.

These days, my sister refuses to wear dresses, but has great appreciation for the mis-matched sock fad. So, if you don’t attempt to make her look cute and if you promise to take her to McDonald’s for “Chicken McNuggets, a strawberry shake, and a napkin,” she may consider you a candidate for best friend. But be warned, she sometimes thinks she’s a dog, so it would be helpful if you’re fluent in barks, like she is. And when she says, “uppy-uppy-uppy” with her arms pointing toward the sky, that’s her desperate plea to be picked up and consoled, but I find it more satisfying to just tickle her armpits.

Nobody quite does three and a half like my sister does, but that’s why we love her so much.

Cheers (and fears) to the countdown to four!

Beating the Winter Blues

Here’s a brrrrrilliant idea to beat the winter blues: Let’s invite Wyatt over to play in the fresh snow with us!

Problem solved: I no longer feel the winter blues.

New problem discovered: I no longer feel my face either. Or my fingers and toes.

Let’s finish this snow party inside?

Insurrection at the Capitol

I don’t really understand what was going on, but mom said the January 6th insurrection at the capital was a scary and dark moment for our country, which will likely be chronicled in my future history books. And even though violence, racism, and white supremacy were on full display as Trump refused to allow for the peaceful transfer of power, mom says, depending on who writes the story, the attempted coup runs the risk of becoming whitewashed or downplayed.

I guess it’s true what they say: “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” (Jimi Hendrix)

Destination: Sunshine State

Since New Year’s Eve 2020 was our last happy and healthy memory with Papa Florence, we were determined to make big plans for the 2021 new year to avoid sulking in sadness. So…. road trip to Florida!

We packed up our camper and left Wisconsin the day after Christmas and cruised all the way to Kentucky to find a Jellystone campground to sleep at. Then, we woke up and toured Mammoth Cave National Park before driving through the Great Smoky Mountains until we reached our final destination: Ocean Grove RV Resort in St. Augustine, Florida.

Once we arrived at the resort, we met up with Colin’s family and Cha Cha & Ernest…. the perfect combination for a party! We ate, swam, biked, ate some more, toured the oldest masonry fort in the continental U.S., watched movies, walked along the ocean, and toasted with mimosas to celebrate our super duper fun getaway vacation!

Before making the trip back to winter, we visited Chelsee & Ernest’s lovely home in Gainesville. As we neared the eve of the new year, nothing made us feel closer to Papa than being reunited with his golf cart and puppy dogs! Cha Cha & E even took us to a holiday light show and one of the featured songs was Hallelujah!! It was a special sign from Papa that he is still with us, and a cue for me to start ugly sobbing.

We loved every minute of watching the bat release, enjoying a Satchel’s pizza dinner, touring the boardwalk for alligators, fishing for bass, biking through the trails of the Sunshine State, and ringing in 2021 with great hopes for a better year ahead!

Thanks for the hospitality and reprieve from our winter doldrums, Cha Cha, Ernest and Florida. Maybe we should make this a tradition?!

Christmas 2020

It’s not officially Christmas until we’ve visited the Rotary Lights – the event that warms up even the coldest of nights!

I was bummed that COVID ruined my yearly tradition of visiting Santa there, but was pleasantly surprised to see him and Mrs. Clauss hanging out in the Duluth Trading Company storefront! Crisis averted.

Christmas in quarantine was much lonelier than we would have liked….

…but it still, somehow, felt magical.

Papa’s Birthday

“Grief never ends… but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith… it is the price of love.”

Happy 75th birthday, Papa. Tonight, we light a candle to feel your warmth. We all miss you, but Genesee talks about you every day and wonders where you are. So do I. Mom tells her that you’re probably waiting for us somewhere, but until then, we can keep you alive by remembering. So now, Genesee is “waiting for you to come back alive” …because that’s what she heard Mom say.

It’s heart-wrenching and so innocently hopeful at the same time. At first, Mom tried to explain it differently so Genesee might better understand, but that’s the story she keeps telling herself. And maybe that’s a better way to grieve… thinking that you’ll someday return from your spirit journey…

Mom says she would ask more questions, look into your eyes longer, and hug you tighter. She would tell you that this year has been really tough, but she’s done a lot of perspective-taking and is striving to harness your boldness. She would confess that she hasn’t watched the Packer games, and perhaps she would even admit that the only reason she watched football in the first place was to feel closer to you. She would tell you that your dogs are well-loved, your house was sold to a Gilson, and that your golf cart made it to Florida. And also, Trump lost. In fact, he re-lost the election approximately 50 times. We can actually hear your belly laugh. Then, your exhale would synchronize with Mom’s and you both would allow yourselves a moment to feel vindication… before holding your breath again.

Missing you hurts less when we believe that you come back at the end of this story. And so, with Genesee, I wait.

The Peace & Quiet of Hunting

Let the record show that I have officially reached hunter status.

Since we had no school for the entire week of Thanksgiving this year, I hunted with Dad 9 days straight! This means my 6-year-old self was rudely awakened from my warm and cozy bed at 6:00 a.m. each morning. Still in shock, I played dead while Dad struggled to dress my limp body in thermal underwear and blaze orange outerwear. Once I could pry open one eye, I kissed mom goodbye and then stumbled out into the cold, dark woods to draw, color, play Sneaky Sasquatch, and occasionally glance out the window to look for deer.

It was everything… peaceful, beautiful and centering. Sometimes dad would even allow us to return home for a nice warm lunch prepared by momma dearest before we would trek back to our headquarters and continue the hunt until the woods were just as dark as we found them pre-sunrise.

Despite COVID putting a damper on making cabin memories, life felt good in that deer stand. So, I soaked up every moment of having Dad to myself, particularly since Genesee has threatened to crash this party next year.

And even though mom isn’t a good hunting sport like me, she seems surprisingly supportive of dad building a bigger deer stand so Genesee can join us…. the lengths mom will go to chase her dreams of reaching sleep-in status.

I guess we all strive for our own symbols of status, or perhaps we just take different paths on the quest for peace and quiet.

Healthy Holidays 2020

T’was a month before Christmas,
And all through the town,
People wore masks,
That covered their frown.
The frown had begun
Way back in the Spring,
When a global pandemic
Changed everything.
They called it corona,
But unlike the beer,
It didn’t bring good times,
It didn’t bring cheer.
Contagious and deadly,
This virus spread fast,
Like a wildfire that starts
When fueled by gas.
Airplanes were grounded,
Travel was banned.
Borders were closed
Across air, sea and land.
As the world entered lockdown
To flatten the curve,
The economy halted,
And folks lost their nerve.
From March to July
We rode the first wave,
People stayed home,
They tried to behave.
When summer emerged
The lockdown was lifted.
But away from caution,
Many folks drifted.
Now it’s November
And cases are spiking,
Wave two has arrived,
Much to our disliking.
Frontline workers,
Doctors and nurses,
Try to save people,
From riding in hearses.
This virus is awful,
This COVID-19.
There isn’t a cure.
There is no vaccine.
It’s true that this year
Has had sadness a plenty,
We’ll never forget
The year 2020.
And just ‘round the corner –
The holiday season,
But why be merry?
Is there even one reason?
To decorate the house
And put up the tree,
When no one will see it,
No-one but me.
But outside my window
The snow gently falls,
And I think to myself,
Let’s deck the halls!
So, I gather the ribbon,
The garland and bows,
As I play those old carols,
My happiness grows.
Christmas ain’t cancelled
And neither is hope.
If we lean on each other,
I know we can cope.

-Author unknown