This year’s gun deer season did not disappoint.

It was especially exciting because we had a target buck on our radar: an 8-point whitetail with a broken brow tine that had been showing up in our food plot. After missing my 240-yard shot on Thanksgiving afternoon, I was pretty sure I had blown my one big chance. I was bummed.

But on the very last day of the season, he came back! Same spot. Same shot. And this time, I did not miss.

Before the season even started, Dad and I put in some work—fixing the broken blind window and trimming shooting lanes so we could actually see the food plot. Preparation matters. Also, luck helps.

Dad likes to call me the “Trigger Man” because I mostly sit there sleeping or scrolling on my phone until he says, “There’s a deer,” and then suddenly I’m locked in and ready to go. Honestly? Sweet deal.

After the shot, we field dressed the deer, which is how I learned that yes, it is possible to get guts in your mouth, and no, I do not recommend it.

When we weren’t hunting, cabin life was full of delicious food, euchre, checkers, and just enough trash talk to keep things competitive.

All in all, it was an unforgettable season—one target buck, one second chance, and one trigger man who came through when it mattered most.

It’s the thrill of the hunt—minus the blaze orange… the only way we can get Mom and Genesee into the woods. Those girls love a good Christmas tree! Well, Genesee might be in it more for the Perkins hot chocolate, but it’s still a treasured tradition.

Last night, my sister had a sleepover with Boston and Harmony. For reasons still unclear, this meant our house transformed into a non-stop laugh factory, luxury spa, and a dance recording studio.

There was music. There was giggling. There were sudden bursts of screaming. It was…. a vibe, I guess? Apparently, girls do weird things at their sleepovers.

Luckily, I spent most of my time hunting in the woods, which may have saved me. Out there, it was quiet. Peaceful. Predictable. The deer did not scream. The trees did not giggle. And Dad and I didn’t have to play Truth or Dare.

In the end, I survived the sleepover mostly unscathed—thanks to the woods, which remain my safe haven, my fortress of solitude, my personal princess-free kingdom where sanity reigns supreme.

Welp, I missed Halloween this year, but guess what I didn’t miss—my shot at a 10-point mule deer! (Technically a 4×4 with brow tines, if you’re keeping score.) And that’s why they call Montana The Treasure State! (I should confess: I did miss an earlier mule deer from 600 yards away, but so does everyone, right?) Dad and I hunted with Uncle Cory every day, racking up over 250 miles on the four-wheeler—basically the same as driving to Chicago! We used intercom headsets to solve the world’s problems during our rides, and for the second year in a row, I was the unpaid Uber driver, so I made my passenger (Dad) open all the gates as a fair trade.

It was another great trip, except for that part where I left my winter gloves in Wisconsin, and Cory forgot his gun clip behind, too. You know, just the minor details. Nothing our sharing-is-caring philosophy couldn’t fix. We still made the best of it, and one of my favorite parts was the public service we provided to keep the prairie dog population in check. You’re welcome, Montana. Of course, my not-favorite part was the 30 mph sustained winds with 50 mph gusts. And I sort of regret not getting to wear a scary costume, but who needs to go trick-or-treating anyway!? Between watching the Packers win, catching the World Series, dominating at Euchre with my main man Cory, tossing the football, splashing in the creek, and eating like kings (thanks, Grandma & Grandpa!), the life of a hunter is pretty sweet!! I mean, hard. Very, very hard. It’s basically like The Oregon Trail, only we’re trying to gather pounds of meat to sustain our party instead of dodging dysentery. It’s all about survival and strategy. And apparently Cory’s strategy was to wait until the very last day to decide whether his family would eat this winter… talk about stressful!

Spoiler alert: They, too, will survive.

In the end, we’ll call it a success! Including my homework, which I finished on the drive home. (Emphasis on “in the end” because I do my best work at the very last minute.) And even though I had a blast in the Montana mountains, there really is no place like home. So, once these kings returned to their queens, I did zoomies with Artemis, I John Cena’d mom onto the bed, and I gave a heartfelt high-five to Genesee because I know those ladies missed us terribly and had absolutely no fun while we were gone.

[Pictures of the poor ladies, sitting around missing us… not having fun:]

Soccer season ended by hosting our annual Coulee Cup tournament, and per usual, our family did it in style: camping out in the parking lot and staying overnight in the Porters’ driveway.

Genesee’s team showed some serious grit, especially for playing in an older age bracket. My team battled all the way to the championship game, and even though we fell just short in the end, taking home the silver still feels awesome.

Highlight for me? Playing under the lights for the first game. Friday night lights, baby! Coach Nico made the season even better, and I can definitely say I learned a lot.

All in all, a solid way to close out both of our seasons.

How did I do it, you ask?

Step 1: Have a super cool mom who is friends with the famous hypnotist Chris Jones. (She knew him back in the day when he was just a student practicing magic tricks in her office.)

Step 2: Go to his big hypnotist show at the UW-La Crosse Student Union!

Step 3: Conquer your stage fright in 10 seconds when you suddenly get invited on stage, in front of 850 audience members, just so you can score the best seat in the house. (Thanks, Chris!)

Step 4: Learn the ultimate trick: blowing magic sleep dust on college students to make them fall asleep. One puff, and boom—nap time.

Step 5: Wave to the people when they recognize you on the way out of the building, as they shout, “You’re the little brother from another mother!”

And that’s how you gain a new super power. And a fan club, apparently.

Just remember: Not all superheroes wear capes; sometimes they walk around in a camouflage hoodie and sweatpants. So pay attention and stay woke, otherwise, you, too could find yourself belting out “Pink Pony Club” at the front of a college student congo line.

Oh, I forgot…

Step 6: Practice hypnosis on your little sister—strictly for skill maintenance, of course, and not for commandeering chores, outsourcing homework, or receiving dessert deliveries. We only use our super powers for good… said no 11-year-old ever.

Welp, all good things must come to an end, and so, Genesee and I said goodbye to summer and hello to a new school year. I’m officially in 6th grade and my sister is rolling into 3rd grade like the boss we all know she is.

First came open house, where we smiled awkwardly for school pictures and scoped out our new classrooms. We also stocked up on some Mel-Min merch—because obviously school spirit requires accessories.

Then came the big day. Mom fueled us up with blueberry biscuits and bacon (10/10 breakfast of champions). We took the classic first-day pics and even let Artemis steal our spotlight for one shot. On the drive in, we blasted music and remixed the lyrics: “I Gotta Feeling…that this year’s gonna be a good year!” Pretty solid hype anthem, if you ask me.

When we pulled up, the school tried to outdo us with a party of their own: A balloon arch, a new principal, the friendly superintendent, and loud music welcoming us in. Not a bad way to start the year!

After surviving day one (and mom’s 21 questions about it), she treated us to Jersey Mike’s subs + mini boba = park picnic before soccer practice. Later, we had dinner with Dad and shared all our reflections (and predictions) for the year ahead.

So yeah… Return of the Learn is officially in session. Stay tuned for plot twists, questionable cafeteria cuisine, sibling shenanigans, playground politics, and the battle of me vs. homework.

First soccer tournament of the fall = complete! The Tribute Cup in Appleton was basically a triple feature: new teammates, new coaches, and new camping adventures at Apple Creek Campground.

Both Genesee and I played three games each, though there aren’t as many pictures of her since the professional photographer skipped her field (rude). She’s also thinking about retiring from goalie life this season, so we’ll see how that identity-crisis continues to unfold throughout the next two months.

As for me, I experienced lots of disappointment before the season even started: I am no longer number 16, Coach Aimane left Rush Soccer Club, and I was upset to be placed with my age group this year (because I’m used to playing up with the older kids). However, mom says #4 looks good on me and I think I may actually like this new team and Coach Nico! In fact, I have been named one of the team captains for the year, so I’m looking forward to developing more of my leadership skills!

Off the soccer field, we enjoyed campfire s’mores, walking Artemis around the trails, zooming on our electric scooters, swimming in the outdoor pool, and appreciating the perfect fall weather. I’m so grateful that we can turn our long soccer weekends into family camping trips. Life is good.

Big news: Dad tracked down a John Deere zero turn mower all the way in South Dakota, just so he could put me to work. Once the machine landed in Melrose, I officially became the lovely assistant to the regional lawnkeeper (aka Grandpa). It’s basically a grass-eating go-kart, so not only did I get to whip out those zero turns, I also had zero complaints!

Grandpa gave me an A+ on my first mow and I got paid… not just in cash, but also in a chocolate malt and a giant plate of nachos. BEST. PAYCHECK. EVER. I even earned the ultimate badge of honor: a farmer tan. Now, my face and arms are ready for summer, but my shoulders and thighs are still living in January. They should update the job description to include the bonus perk: FREE BUILT-IN T-SHIRT. I guess I have something to show for all of my hard work!?

Child labor? Maybe.
Fun & Delicious? Absolutely.