Day 1: Smooth criminal escapes to California

Missing four days of school for this trip would have officially pushed me over the 10-absence limit and straight onto the Truancy Watch List. But then—BOOM: The weather gods turned our travel day into a snow/virtual learning day! Shoutout to Wisconsin weather for keeping me out of jail.

The downside? We had to drive to the airport in a “winter weather advisory” blizzard. For one long, miserable hour, we crawled through terrible road conditions wondering if this vacation was worth it. (Spoiler alert: It was.) Eventually we hit clear roads, made it safely to the airport, and officially began Vacation Mode.

In San Diego, things got dramatic again. We were supposed to rent a luxury Range Rover Defender or a BMW X7… but the people in line ahead of us took the last ones. Devastating! We may or may not have blamed Mom for chatting with her friend Stan at the airport. This delay also caused us to almost miss our luggage, which really added to the suspense. In the end, we claimed our suitcases from the Delta employee who attempted to cart them away, and we found ourselves in a (discounted) Mercedes GL 350, which still (mostly) satisfied our dreams of riding in luxury.

Then we drove 45 miles through rush hour traffic to our Airbnb in the rural foothills of San Diego County (specifically Descanso, California, situated in the Cuyamaca Mountains). While the bumper-to-bumper adventure was not the relaxed traffic scene we’ve grown accustomed to back home, our final destination cured all of our travel woes as we got to enjoy the most impressive accommodations:

• A sparkling infinity pool
• A relaxing hot tub
• Incredible views across 45 private acres
• Smart bidet toilets (automatic open + heated seats + undercarriage wash + automatic flush = life-changing technology)
• A Nespresso machine (Dad immediately began living out his retirement dream of becoming a coffee drinker)
• An old-school record player with new school music
• A fancy double shower
• A high tech induction oven
• Robes and slippers for each of us

This is the good life! No wonder California is nicknamed The Golden State. The Sunshine State. The State You’ll Never Want to Vacate. (Okay, I made that last one up, but it has a nice ring to it, right?)

After settling in and adjusting to the two-hour time change, we made plans for the week before calling it a night.

Day 2: City Mode Activated

Genesee and I started the morning the correct way: in the hot tub, watching the sun come up over the mountains. Then, around 10:30 a.m., we left our peaceful mountain Airbnb life and headed into the city to follow in the footsteps of Lynette and Dr. Bee, who had just left San Diego the day before we arrived. Shucks!

First stop: Mission Beach. We walked the boardwalk, explored Belmont Park, and immediately secured $10 San Diego sweatshirts, which felt like an elite-level bargain. We also tried the viral Dubai chocolate crepe, which lived up to the hype and possibly shortened my lifespan in the best way.

For lunch, we ate at C-Level Lounge, which had incredible breezy views of the San Diego Bay, the downtown skyline, and the Coronado Bridge. Mom and Dad ordered blackened fish tacos like responsible adults. (Because when in San Diego, you must eat tacos!) Meanwhile, Genesee and I ordered filet mignon from the kids’ menu. It was a petite 3 ounce cut, which looked a little small for my growing appetite, but mom coached me into eating slowly and enjoying the flavor of every bite!

After lunch, we headed to Coronado. We walked near the ferry landing and saw the famous Hotel del Coronado. We even tried to meet up with Genesee’s friend Reagan, who was also in San Diego at the same time, but our schedules didn’t line up. Shucks again! The temperature was cool and windy, with a side of sunshine. But you know what they say: “Beach hair, Don’t care.”

Day 3: Backup Plans & Baby Seals

We had big plans to hike Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve — which Dad was most excited about — until we discovered it was closed for construction. Huge bummer. But we pivoted to La Jolla, and honestly… it might’ve been an upgrade because we saw tons of seals and their babies just lounging on the beach like they owned the place. Super cute!

Then we walked the La Jolla Coast Walk Trail, a scenic path with incredible ocean views and steep cliffs. Much to my mother’s dismay, I loved forging my own path, climbing the rocks like I was in an adventure movie. It was epic!

After my James Bond audition, we ate lunch at Nautilus Tavern, ordered some fancy drinks, and then hit the shopping scene, where Genesee secured a Lululemon purse. As her financial adviser, I warned her about the dangers of prioritizing “wants” over “needs,” but she remains committed to her spending strategy.

Of course my sister needed to demonstrate how to use her new purse, so she proceeded to spend more money on Italian ice cream at a sweet shop just up the hill from Ellen Browning Scripps Park. It should be noted here, that if Genesee grows up with an aversion to seagulls, it will be because one tried to snatch that ice cream cone straight out of her hand. It was a bold, aggressive move, but that bird quickly learned that no one should go to ice cream war against my sister. It might not be pretty, but Genesee always wins.

We ended the day at Gliderport Park, watching the sunset while paragliders floated over the cliffs. Not a bad way to recover from our failed hiking plans.

Closed trail, but still a solid day.

Day 4: Best. Day. Ever.

On day 4, we went to the San Diego Zoo and I would just like to officially announce that it was my favorite part of the entire trip.

First of all, this zoo is HUGE. Like, “why are Genesee’s legs filing a formal complaint?” huge. It’s one of the largest zoos in the world and covers 100 acres. Our feet can confirm. The zoo was also ridiculously clean and somehow didn’t smell like a zoo, which seems scientifically impossible. Also, the plants alone could qualify it as a botanical garden, showcasing over 700,000 species!

I took my role as Official Family Tour Guide very seriously, navigating with the zoo app like a professional wilderness expert. Thanks to my skills, and maybe a little luck, every animal appeared on cue when we walked up to visit them. It was almost like they had our itinerary.

My favorite animal? The orangutan named Labu. It was wild how human he seemed… his facial expressions, the way he moved, his side-eye. I’m not saying I saw myself in that orangutan… but I’m also not not saying that.

Genesee loved the baboons (chaotic energy recognizes chaotic energy, I guess). Mom picked the hippopotamus. Dad was impressed by the pandas and gorilla. He liked the mountain lion, too, but that thing looked like it could bench press me without warming up!

It was so much fun; I was all smiles all day. I especially enjoyed the Wildlife Wonders at Wegeforth Bowl, the Skyfari aerial tram (which gave us a bird’s-eye view of the whole place and made us feel like we were in a nature documentary), and our sit-down lunch at Albert’s where we reserved the best seats in the house.

The zoo was amazing, but the real talk is that zoos are complicated. On one hand, they do important conservation work and help protect endangered species. On the other hand, it’s a little sad knowing these animals aren’t in their natural habitats. I guess both things can be true at the same time.

Upon closing, we drove next door and walked around Balboa Park, which is massive and full of museums and cool Spanish-style buildings from, like, 100 years ago. Unfortunately, all museums were closed when we arrived, but even without going inside anything, the place felt special and important.

Day 5: Slow Mornings & Small Town Wins

After four straight days of go-go-go, we decided to stay close to “home” and enjoy a lazier Tuesday. So, we slept in, hung out at the Airbnb, and actually enjoyed all the cool stuff we’d barely had time to appreciate: hot tub, gorgeous views, coffee experiments, and the whole mountain-life vibe.

Eventually, we left our luxury bubble and headed out to hike Lake Cuyamaca. It was a peaceful, scenic, calm/muddy loop around the lake with fresh air. Dad’s favorite part was discovering the granary tree: a dead tree modified by Acorn Woodpeckers that stores thousands of acorns for winter survival. We learned that these birds “drill, maintain, and defend up to 50,000 precisely sized, individual holes in the wood, often using the same tree for generations.”

After dad was done being wowed by the woodpeckers, we drove into the town of Julian, “a historic, high-elevation mountain town famous for its 1870s gold rush, 4-season climate, and, most notably, its iconic apple pies.” Then, on our way back to the house in Heaven, we ordered delicious tamales to-go from Veronica’s Kitchen, so we could indulge in Mexican goodness while snuggling into the king bed to continue our TV series marathon of Ted Lasso.

Day 6: Go Big or Go Home

Wednesday was our last full day and it did not disappoint.

We hit SeaWorld San Diego right when it opened — actually, before it opened — because that’s how we roll when the ladies aren’t slowing down the departure time.

We scored free entrée vouchers by purchasing tickets through Undercover Tourist, thanks to our savvy dad! Mom called it a win, since each entrée was priced around $20+, but I felt like I was winning when we experienced the sea lion show and the Orca Encounter. The sea lions were so smart and funny and the orcas were massive, powerful, and somehow graceful at the same time. But Genesee’s favorite part? Not the whales. Not the stunts. Instead, it was the sea lion pre-show, where the maintenance guy started dancing and absolutely stole the spotlight.

We also saw silly walruses, majestic beluga whales, playful penguins, and mesmerizing jellyfish. We rode every ride (some of them multiple times) because there were basically no lines! And we even let tiny fish nibble on our hands, which was ticklish for me, but slightly terrifying for Genesee. It was practically empty in some corners of SeaWorld, so it felt like mom and dad had rented out the park for their VIP children!

But because our parents want to teach us about critical thinking, critical feeling, and general ethics, we learned that, like the zoo, SeaWorld is not without controversy. So while we had lots of fun, we also made space for the complicated reality of appreciating rescue and rehabilitation work while also contemplating the drawbacks of marine life in captivity.

After SeaWorld, we returned to Mission Beach and Belmont Park… where it all began. It was a lovely full circle moment that got tragically interrupted by The Great Slushy Incident. At the end of a long day, we were subjected to a 20-minute unnecessary wait for frozen greatness, only for the slushy machine guy to casually and unapologetically inform us that the machine was not working. The betrayal. The heartbreak. The injustice. And then…. the laughter after Dad’s blood pressure returned to normal. In fact, Genesee and I have since reenacted the entire debacle multiple times for dramatic effect. (see videos below)

Day 7: Farewell, Sunshine

And just like that, our San Diego adventure wrapped up — rides conquered, animals encountered, and slushies denied.

Of course, we made sure to get a late checkout, a final hot tub session, and one more slow morning pretending we lived there.

We had breakfast poolside — scrambled egg, cheese, and bacon sandwiches with fresh fruit — and then executed the grand finale operation: convincing Dad to jump into the “refreshingly” cold pool “with us.” (see video below)

It really was a great trip. Each day got warmer and sunnier. We figured out the traffic patterns. We knew the shortcuts. We had officially adapted to California life. In fact, I’m not sure how I will return to a world where I must manually lift up the toilet seat, after being spoiled in ways I didn’t even know I needed.

But since all good things must come to an end, the time eventually came to fly home to snowy Wisconsin. And as much lust as I have for wandering, I always love coming home. This time, on the return trip, we scored seats in the same row, flew over the Grand Canyon, and I heroically completed my homework packet midair like a responsible almost-12-year-old.

We landed in Minneapolis, drove home in the dark… and almost hit a cow just a few miles from our house.

Only in Wisconsin.

We rolled in around midnight, tired but victorious, and just in time to unpack and repack for a home basketball tournament on Saturday.

But first: Snugglefest with sweet, sweet Artemis. We can visit all the animals in the world, but our favorite will always be Arty-Farty. Of course she was greatly missed while we were away, but we are certain she was well loved in our absence. (Dog-sitting / Dog-spoiling grandparents for the win!)

10/10 trip. Would absolutely risk truancy to do it all again.