I recently competed in the school spelling bee, as a 6th grade representative. My accomplishment sparked not-so-fond memories of my parents’ crushed dreams of being crowned the spelling champs when they were taken down by the words “apricot” and “lingerie.”

After listening to (and chuckling at) their stories, I went into the competition with the confidence of learned tips and tricks from my parents. But in the end, I would suffer their same fate, when I got stumped on the word “communicate” because of that unnecessary double m.

Still, even though I didn’t take home the trophy, I did make an appearance in the local newspaper, which is the real prize. Because who doesn’t want to be a hometown hero!? It’s fun to be famous, but Grandpa doesn’t like paparazzi on the premises (as indicated by our “Trespassers will be shot” signs), so please respect my privacy during this time.