How did I do it, you ask?

Step 1: Have a super cool mom who is friends with the famous hypnotist Chris Jones. (She knew him back in the day when he was just a student practicing magic tricks in her office.)

Step 2: Go to his big hypnotist show at the UW-La Crosse Student Union!

Step 3: Conquer your stage fright in 10 seconds when you suddenly get invited on stage, in front of 850 audience members, just so you can score the best seat in the house. (Thanks, Chris!)

Step 4: Learn the ultimate trick: blowing magic sleep dust on college students to make them fall asleep. One puff, and boom—nap time.

Step 5: Wave to the people when they recognize you on the way out of the building, as they shout, “You’re the little brother from another mother!”

And that’s how you gain a new super power. And a fan club, apparently.

Just remember: Not all superheroes wear capes; sometimes they walk around in a camouflage hoodie and sweatpants. So pay attention and stay woke, otherwise, you, too could find yourself belting out “Pink Pony Club” at the front of a college student congo line.

Oh, I forgot…

Step 6: Practice hypnosis on your little sister—strictly for skill maintenance, of course, and not for commandeering chores, outsourcing homework, or receiving dessert deliveries. We only use our super powers for good… said no 11-year-old ever.