How did I do it, you ask?

Step 1: Have a super cool mom who is friends with the famous hypnotist Chris Jones. (She knew him back in the day when he was just a student practicing magic tricks in her office.)

Step 2: Go to his big hypnotist show at the UW-La Crosse Student Union!

Step 3: Conquer your stage fright in 10 seconds when you suddenly get invited on stage, in front of 850 audience members, just so you can score the best seat in the house. (Thanks, Chris!)

Step 4: Learn the ultimate trick: blowing magic sleep dust on college students to make them fall asleep. One puff, and boom—nap time.

Step 5: Wave to the people when they recognize you on the way out of the building, as they shout, “You’re the little brother from another mother!”

And that’s how you gain a new super power. And a fan club, apparently.

Just remember: Not all superheroes wear capes; sometimes they walk around in a camouflage hoodie and sweatpants. So pay attention and stay woke, otherwise, you, too could find yourself belting out “Pink Pony Club” at the front of a college student congo line.

Oh, I forgot…

Step 6: Practice hypnosis on your little sister—strictly for skill maintenance, of course, and not for commandeering chores, outsourcing homework, or receiving dessert deliveries. We only use our super powers for good… said no 11-year-old ever.

Welp, all good things must come to an end, and so, Genesee and I said goodbye to summer and hello to a new school year. I’m officially in 6th grade and my sister is rolling into 3rd grade like the boss we all know she is.

First came open house, where we smiled awkwardly for school pictures and scoped out our new classrooms. We also stocked up on some Mel-Min merch—because obviously school spirit requires accessories.

Then came the big day. Mom fueled us up with blueberry biscuits and bacon (10/10 breakfast of champions). We took the classic first-day pics and even let Artemis steal our spotlight for one shot. On the drive in, we blasted music and remixed the lyrics: “I Gotta Feeling…that this year’s gonna be a good year!” Pretty solid hype anthem, if you ask me.

When we pulled up, the school tried to outdo us with a party of their own: A balloon arch, a new principal, the friendly superintendent, and loud music welcoming us in. Not a bad way to start the year!

After surviving day one (and mom’s 21 questions about it), she treated us to Jersey Mike’s subs + mini boba = park picnic before soccer practice. Later, we had dinner with Dad and shared all our reflections (and predictions) for the year ahead.

So yeah… Return of the Learn is officially in session. Stay tuned for plot twists, questionable cafeteria cuisine, sibling shenanigans, playground politics, and the battle of me vs. homework.

First soccer tournament of the fall = complete! The Tribute Cup in Appleton was basically a triple feature: new teammates, new coaches, and new camping adventures at Apple Creek Campground.

Both Genesee and I played three games each, though there aren’t as many pictures of her since the professional photographer skipped her field (rude). She’s also thinking about retiring from goalie life this season, so we’ll see how that identity-crisis continues to unfold throughout the next two months.

As for me, I experienced lots of disappointment before the season even started: I am no longer number 16, Coach Aimane left Rush Soccer Club, and I was upset to be placed with my age group this year (because I’m used to playing up with the older kids). However, mom says #4 looks good on me and I think I may actually like this new team and Coach Nico! In fact, I have been named one of the team captains for the year, so I’m looking forward to developing more of my leadership skills!

Off the soccer field, we enjoyed campfire s’mores, walking Artemis around the trails, zooming on our electric scooters, swimming in the outdoor pool, and appreciating the perfect fall weather. I’m so grateful that we can turn our long soccer weekends into family camping trips. Life is good.