June | 2025 | He moves like Jaeger

Big news: Dad tracked down a John Deere zero turn mower all the way in South Dakota, just so he could put me to work. Once the machine landed in Melrose, I officially became the lovely assistant to the regional lawnkeeper (aka Grandpa). It’s basically a grass-eating go-kart, so not only did I get to whip out those zero turns, I also had zero complaints!

Grandpa gave me an A+ on my first mow and I got paid… not just in cash, but also in a chocolate malt and a giant plate of nachos. BEST. PAYCHECK. EVER. I even earned the ultimate badge of honor: a farmer tan. Now, my face and arms are ready for summer, but my shoulders and thighs are still living in January. They should update the job description to include the bonus perk: FREE BUILT-IN T-SHIRT. I guess I have something to show for all of my hard work!?

Child labor? Maybe.
Fun & Delicious? Absolutely.

Well, well, well… look who made good on his promise. If you don’t remember, here were my exact words:

[June 19, 2024] “Unfortunately, the MVP award stayed out of my hands this year, but after winning it in 2022 and 2023, I figured it was time to let someone else shine. But no more Mr. Nice Guy after this because I’ll be coming in hot next year to steal back my spotlight. And that’s not a threat; it’s a promise.”

And guess what? I delivered.

I showed up to the Jordan Kappen 2025 Basketball Camp ready to WORK. It was my 4th annual appearance and I didn’t just win the 1v1 tournament in my age group—I also took home the biggest prize of all: the KAPPEN CAMP GOAT award.

Yep. Greatest Of All Time. That’s me now. No big deal. Well, it’s kind of a big deal, so I’m glad the paparazzi (aka Grandma) was courtside to catch me in action.

I earned this distinguished title by showing up, working hard, listening, and—let’s be honest—scoring on the coaches more than once. The prize? A diamond GOAT necklace, a sweet Local Hoops basketball, and a Local Hoops hat.

But don’t worry… this GOAT didn’t graze alone. Besides playing with my Mel-Min buds (Parker, Ryder, and Cullen), my favorite sidekick (Genesee) was back for her 3rd year of camp! She put in serious effort, held her own on the court, and has been leveling up every summer. If the trend continues, she’s gonna be a top prize-winner next year. I’m calling it now.