Do NOT be fooled by her cuteness.
Nothing is safe.
This one-dog wrecking crew has chewed up several shoes, ruined favorite hats, and turned my socks into confetti. And that’s just the casualty count for one day! Mom’s robe strings? Consider them chomped. The expensive leash we bought our “princess”? Completely shredded. Stuffed (innocent) animals? No survivors. She even tries to snack on Nerf bullets and dryer balls.
Keeping up with her chaos is a full-time job. While Mom, Genesee, and I yell, chase, and threaten to take away Artemis’ recess, she just gets a twinkle in her eye, laughs in our faces, and hurdles the couch the second we think we’ve got her cornered. Then, Dad comes home from work and catches our pup in the final lap of the house-destroying marathon, and says something ridiculous like, “Oh sweetie, let’s make better choices.” And just like that, Artemis drops her latest victim and rolls over for a tummy rub. It’s pretty insulting that she only listens to Dad. Even more insulting? Dad doesn’t see the devil in Artemis because she magically grows wings and a halo in his presence.
Still, even though Mom, Sis, and I don’t always agree with Artemis’ “choices,” we love her anyway. Sure, she’s a whirlwind of destruction, but she’s our whirlwind. And maybe someday she’ll decide to listen to the rest of us, but until then, we’ll let Dad enjoy his dog-whispering superpower. However, if you plan on visiting Artemis-the-Naughty-Miss, I’d advise against wearing your favorite socks, shoes, or hats. In fact, I would encourage you to arrive naked, but that would be kind of weird. Besides, I have attempted to roam the house clothes-less and it didn’t end well. In fact, it was a painful lesson, if you know what I mean.
Again, nothing is safe.